Luyện nghe bài hát Drunk on the striped table

in my featherless, sagging, wings,
i

my Phoenician, waterlogged, orchestrated and forty wings
in the air
i am drunk laying against the table
pushing these banners the airless beach
waving these flags as i the recipes of prayers to the vendors
and the pharisees in pumping iron against the sun

the of semitic vendors, egyptian vendors
shaking their backs the sun
with the sounds of sheets of metal
splashing the naked
with wild bikinis and the soft
of
and

i on the beach looking for a place to sleep
My arms are hidden beneath my skin
i am broke and up and i fall in the sand
and sleeping in the cradle of a billion rocks

i dreamed of
she came to us in
and she was fluently
her language
and she was dressed in syrian rags
her face had powder on it and there were
little brown moons her eyes
and i saw her
an arabic women parading naked
powerful, irreverent but after all
doing it the old way
with clothes and force

now i awake in the
the is filled with children
are walking by staring at me
pre-pubescent faces are a little too close
i don't even remember if i on any underwear

i get up and walk
i never knew this stuff was here
the twirling music, the games, the
commune living sucks
these black suck
these harmonica
should all go to the north
canada, new jersey, where they do that

II.

I abandon the old way when i first got to san diego. I fucked anybody i to. I was, however, gang raped by a blues band in an old school bus. That was pretty
horrible. were only three of them. I can't remember if i got the third on e off me. I think i did. I was so ashamed.

Perhaps people think if you don't scream you're not being raped. Perhaps think if you say to yourself, just let him do it and he won't hurt you. Or even more
provocative, just let him do it and maybe like you. And of course you've been saying no, no, don't . Or pushing but not pushing too much. Because you're just a little
girl really, and you're afraid, and you're so tired, and you want someplace to sleep.

That's what like when you run away from home.
Lots of people will rape you. And let them. Just to have a place to sleep.
The was, after they fucked me, and all this juice all over my thighs, they didn't even let me sleep there.
You think this only happens to me? You're crazy. You think this happens to girls who are rough? You're wrong. You think this only happens in stories?
behind you.

Still i liked the idea of being assertive. I liked the idea of free love in san diego. i liked the idea of saying i want you of waiting around so some guy can get his rocks
off thinking you didn't really want him that he won something from you that you didn't want to give him. This strategy, this tradition, is a of rape.

This idea that men are suppose to win you, that you are suppose to be aloof, is a small but significant of rape. I do not like it. not one bit. that sam i am that
sam i am. i do not like sam i am.

now i no more say get down here and eat this sweet me than i could
a bull fighter
or write on the walls in blood
or wear the horns on my head
or row a boat across the atlantic again

and though sometimes i am at the desk, or
at a eating dinner
and there is some one, some slave, or some

eating alone
and no one
or every ones
and everyone is
i never bring anything to reality now
reality is cracked by the blows of
men and nights pointed teeth
poison at the air
i
and all good now
take inside my many layered

my
my
are

did you go
when went bad, anyway?
i sat beside you in bathroom all night.
you crying
you were talking to me like a
you were gone, man,
you just kept getting in the
and getting out and the water run out
and then in again
and all that food i
it was all over the in the kitchen
and there was a heat
and the waves very, very high
and the dogs were turning carrots
and the valentines were melting
burrito and
shattered places pave the road
the road through echo park
that still
your naked
the bed you
those stupid
your echoes
the last
of me you
you me.
you me madly

where did you go?i knew you like that scene of girls chasing you down the street. that's why you always liked to have a hip car, because it was important that they
chase you in the right car, and i was not to chase you.

i knew that story of that girl in philadelphia chasing you down the night street you were in a taxi cab, that's a nice image. then the japanese girl. but then my feet
were starting toward you and you were turning the corner onto sunset and you left me there in a second day turkey. and all i can think of i philadelphia cheese steak
philadelphia cheesesteak sandwich.

philadelphia steak and every time i think cheese steak i see all this wet cheese and steak.
Here the parade! Look! Here it comes!
I let you go.
I let you go. You to rip girls. I had to let you go.