Now, tell ya a tale that'll bust yer heart only a few people knew, ta start It all took place when our concert was booked at the SeaTac Hilton? I'll guarantee ev'ry word's the Gospel Got ta prove it, too, 'Cause we all with a fella by the name a' Milton
Now Milton was tour director, Electrical piano-playin' plug An' the travel conductor That we seen in our lives He'd say "Whaddya mean, ya need more "The world care whether ya look yer best! "Simply show up promptly at six A.M. with instruments ...and your wives!"
in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way] Shall we at the airport?
He'd always arrive in the a' time A good five ahead a' flight time like he'd been drug through a needle's eye He'd stand there, stoned and about ta On his Egg McMuffin an' his giant An' he'd throw all the tickets on the counter and say "Check the bags and fly!" "Well, mean, this is too much weight? "We only got pieces a' freight! "And if it don't go, who's gonna explain it to our fan in Tacoma?"
We'd all get embarassed an' head for the While stood there, bein' profane But somehow he always managed ta get on board ...in sort of a
When the drinks were up yonder...
Well, we deplaned at th' end All the seemed to commence again Though Milton had ordered station wagons, a pickup truck and a limo And he'd phoned ahead to that Number Two Cussin' an' an' turnin' blue We'd always end up with two and a Pinto
Now Milton took all a' stuff in stride Laid on the floor, an' an' cried But we always looked up to him for hope and But we'd sink to the a' trav'lers hell When he'd check us in a motel And he'd the clerk by his shirt an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
He'd shut in room one-oh-four Let nobody in 'til he the floor Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, fixed the faucet, called the "Well, whaddya mean we're the warmup "You're puttin' me on! stars, ya know! "And this ain't the way we was treated summer at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we gotta have a hunnert top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a chauffered and two air-conditioned dressing rooms, please. "I'm what? Well, your wife! She's not? Well, to each his own. "Beg pardon, it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a real friend a' mine An' we'd stuck together on down line But was one or two points over which we just had to dee-bate takin'-your-clothes-off-an'-hangin'-from-a-cross-in-front-a'-the-Tri-County-Fairgrounds Is not necessarily an assurance that the crowd ain't gonna throwin' tomatas An' when ya arrive at for a five o'clock show An' the stage ain't built an' there's no all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut bait However, you give ol' four strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you just knew show was gonna be ...outta state
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one night up in Washington We didn't get paid for a show done An' ol' Milton couldn't live with that; his brain just shorted out. Well, he himself in the bathroom An' then when he come out for an hour an' a half We that somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all doubt We transfixed in shock and horror we busted down that there bathroom door And I hope I never see a sight like that no, I don't There was nothin' to do but our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a silent acapella hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now we're gettin' ready, come December To put concert tour together And I'm sad to say ol' Milton ain't be with us No, it ain't gonna be the same When they introduce us his name So Milton, wherever you are, we you miss us! See, Milton has on down the road Over the rainbow, for gold Yeah, he's up where the stage lights is always on But we can't forget that curly last we saw him a-settin' there Holdin' his tambourine, suckin' his thumb, an' sound asleep on the