Tom: I'm going to come back and I'm going to a therapeutic massage center only for for... Mark: I'm going to start my own nudist That would be grose, you tried that in our bus one time Mark: I tried to our own nudist colony in our bus and it was pretty much just me hanging out naked, they love you Tom Tom: They me so fuck everybody else Mark: Yea fuck all you guys out there that are cheering, yea we hate you Tom you suck burn in hell Tom: Yea fuck that, hey I say I say fuck the hating Tom that's what I say, are we ready Mark Mark: You know what it is you know what it is a lot of these people are just now hopping on the we hate Tom bandwagon, like I've been hating tom since like I'm old school hating Tom guy alright Tom: Oh shit, hey let's all say some dirty words, everybody say fuck, say shit, everyone say dick, everyone say Mark's an ass hole Everyone say, everyone say we hate Mark, yea Tom: Hey now let's do this one, everyone say fuck fuck shit fuck, the kind of words you should be using at home kids Mark: right What do we do now Mark: I want everyone to call me an ass hole Tom: What's up I like hair it's very nice Mark: You like his hair oh cool thanks he probably appreciates a lot Tom: I to say I liked your but but I thought that was to foward you know Mark: Hey this next song is for all the ladies in the hezouse, hea he it's for all the in the heoueoueouze Mark! Mark: Tom: Shut the up Mark: It's for all the ladies in the houaeiouze, weee. Hey you know what hang on I want to make like a (belch) exuse me Mark: Tom Sorry Mark: I to make this like a big golf tournimant everyone shut up everybody just clap like it's a golf tourniment That's what it sounds like when I get done having sex, 15,000 people cheering me on, I could take all of you in my bed right fucking now, but you're not invited Mark. You have got giant boobs and I doubt you're 18, do you have a note from your mom, I want to meet your mom... Mark: Hey put those 13 year old boobs away, if I wanted to see 13 year old boobs I'd hang out by the high like my dad like my dad does Tom: Hey you know what I learned in fifth Mark: What's your dad has a bent weiner Tom: My dad's weiner was bigger than mine and still is Mark: I want everyone here to scream, fuck you Tom,we fucking hate you you're going to burn in hell and die a horrible firery death cause' we you stupid pieces of shit I heard that Mark: Tom: You want to give me your shirt, this smells like blood and feces, dinner ok what does this say here Mark: It smells like blood and feces, so it's your dad's Tom: Hey uh just like every other band we believe in a safe form of sex don't we Mark, that we do so Mark's going to tell you about how we are Mark: Let me tell you about the safest form of sex, it's when you get super drunk and you have sex with like ten people totally unprotected and you do drugs at the same time, no it's not true Tom: It's not true you have to carry a weapon. How many of you guys have girlfreinds and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends, I hope not having sex Mark: And more importanly how many of your girlfriends girlfriends Tom: we believe in the love that exists between two vaginas Mark: The most special kind of love of all is the love that exists between two naked women while I Tom: We her to put her shirt back on Mark: Tom: It just took away my boner, my just died, I had one and now it's gone Mark: Please I saw your and my wiener ran away. Hey hey hang on everyone everyone seriously I need your attention for just a second please, I think somebody lost a contact down here so everyone look around a contact lense hey someone lost a contact lense so uh... Tom: I lost my Keep an I out for it Tom: I lost a testacle, hey what if testacles were things you lose on a everyday basis that would suck, you've only got three, hey I've got to go pee pee Mark: Do you want to go pee and I'll to the kids for a second Tom: Do you think you can talk for time No uh uh Tom: Why don't you gather thoughts Mark: Why don't you just wet your pants and we'll call it Tom: Should I just piss in my right here, if you guys all pitch in a dollar each I'll piss my pants right here now, that should pay me about two-hundred bucks maybe Mark: I'll give you three-hundred dollars to piss pants right now Tom: give you four-hundred bucks to eat my shit Mark: Tom: Sold, apparently there's a kid that's right now and I think they're helping them out right now, it looks like they're right there Mark: Make a hole people make a All you people over there make way for the hurt kid and bring me their wallet Mark: I wish now you let me tell you guys something... I'm gay! Mark: There's thousands and thousands of people here today there's like semis and buses and multiple bands and all kinds of shit, I wish now I would have taken bass lessons, sorry sorry So do I, I wish you did too Mark: I'm thinking for Christmas this year I'm to ask for lessons Tom: I know a guy, he has sex with his sister, he used his dick to pop her four foot blister, and I know it's not that cool, he fucked her in my swimming pool, got three testacles, and he loves to do shit, fuck yea. Hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about fucking sex masturbation insest, or anything grose like that you know Is there anything else in the world Tom: There's nothing else to about Mark: Hey can you help little girl out of there she's not having so much fun right now, hey Uh exuse me, security guard sir Mark: The one right in of you, yea Tom: Yea that girl right there needs to come out, if you're a small person the front is not the best view, and if you hate seeing shitty bands any of this is not a view, this whole everything every seat here. Mark's middle name is Rebecca, they thought he was a... Mark: That's right, my middle names Rebecca because my dad a girl, he treats me like one Tom: I still have to go pee and I'm holding it in still, I'll piss my pants though for money, I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for twenty bucks, I'll pay you bucks and I'll eat it You shave your ass Tom: You have hair on nothing but your balls, Mark has no hair on his whole body but a fucking growning in his pants, I swear to God, it's got teeth and shit Mark: true Tom: He's got a scary looking Mark: It's I need your tax deductable donations for the shave Mark's balls program, please Tom: It's for charity Please send what you can, donate your time Tom: You guys think that we're touring for our own, no this is a charity for Mark's balls Mark: We're trying to enough money to shave my nuts, please give generously Tom: There's no strong enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver, what do we do now, oh I need a new guitar Mark: We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, any one out play guitar Tom: Does anybody know how to play guitar cause' I'm not good, people don't really respect me Mark: If I a girl, every time I went to the gynecologist, I'd fake an orgasm Tom: Bad Mark: Bad christmas Tom: Bad spirit Hey ok I need light now Tom: We're going to point out every single person didn't sing Mark: Santa Claus is going to come to your house and under all your trees Tom: Santa Claus is going to come rape your dogs, Oh God you know what I'm kind of ashamed of being myself today, and yesterday and the day before that, not really pround of who I am or how I look. Any one have one of those days were you don't even really like what you're wearing, you know, you don't like how hair looks, and kind of bumed about how your penis is so small and bent and wierd. That is the ugliest but I have ever seen. Let's hear it for not wiping! And this guy fuck wiping dude, brings down the rain forest. Ok this is a song I wrote... Mark: That guy has a science project up his ass Tom: Uh what head's up seven up, everyone close eyes and if I come by and if I come by and put my finger in you but than you're the one. I think that Satan has a of comments: Well kids it's been a really fun show, and I want you all to know that we'll come back soon, but before I go I want to say I think Tom is extemely good looking and all the out there should think he's good looking. Tom has one of the best butts that I've ever seen, shimi shimi coco puff shimi shimi right shimi shimi coco puff. Does anybody here want to sleep with me. I'm really a nice guy, it's really not Satan... It's me not Satan let's all be happy he's not here say fuck Satan
Alright I'm out of and out of songs, I think we're done.