Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way back when I was a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the corner of the
In the house half a block down the street from Bait Shop
You know the

anyway,
Back then was going swell
And everything was peachy!

Except of course for the undeniable
every single morning
My mother would make me a big ol' of
Sauer for breakfast

Big bowl of kraut!
Every mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just at me like a cow looks
At an oncoming
And she right down next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And she tied me to the wall
And stuck a in my mouth
And force fed me but sauer kraut
Until I was twenty-six and a half old

That's I swore that someday,
Someday I would get outta basement
And travel to a magical, far place,
the sun is always shining
And the air smells warm root beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

Where the shriners and the
Play their all day long
And on the street
Will gladly shave your for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It long at all before my dream came true
Because the very day,
A local station had this contest
To see who could correctly the number
Of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's

I was off by three, but I still won the grand
right, a first class, one-way ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd never
On a real airplane
And I tell ya
It was great

that I had to sit
Between two large Albanian
With excruciatingly body odor
And the kid in back of me
throwin' up the whole time
The attendants ran out of
Dr. Pepper and salted
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly
And, oh yeah, three of the engines burned out
And we went a tailspin
And crashed into a
And the plane exploded in a fireball
And died!
for me. You know why?

'Cause I had my tray up
And my seat back in the full position
Had my tray up
And my seat back in the upright position
Had my table up
And my seat in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin',
I crawled on my and knees
For three full
along my big leather suitcase
And my bag
And my tenor
And my 12-pound bowlin'
And my lucky, lucky autographed snorkel!

But finally I arrived at the famous
Albuquerque Inn!
the towels are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat your
out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's okay, clean!

Well, I into my room,
And I down the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm about to eat
That little chocolate on my pillow
I love so very, very much,
When suddenly a knock on the door

Well, now, who that be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" no answer
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not anything

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
some big, fat hermaphrodite
With a of seagulls, haircut,
And one nostril
Oh, man, I it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He bursts my room,
And he grabs my snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you can't that!
That snorkel's been just a snorkel to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he grabbed my
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my
And I out his appendix
And he gave me a irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you better it!

And in the middle of it all
The phone got knocked off the
And seconds later,
I heard a familiar
And you know what it
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If you'd like to a call,
hang up and try again
If you help,
up and then dial your operator
If you'd like to a call
Please up and try again.
If you need
Hang up and then your operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a story short,
He got away my snorkel
But I made a vow
Right and there
That I not rest,
I would not for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was brought to
But first, I decided to buy donuts

So I got in my car
And I drove to the donut shop
And I on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're outta donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, we're cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, outta apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, we're outta claws!"

I said, "Well, in case
In case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
crazed weasels."
I said, "Okay, I'll that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the weasels out
And they immediately onto my face
And start me all over

Oh, man, they just goin' nuts!
They were me apart!
You know,
I think it was just about time
that a little ditty started goin' my head
I believe it went a somethin' like this:

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the
With flesh-eating weasels
All my face,
my arms all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
a constipated wiener dog

And as luck have it,
That's when I ran into
The girl of my
Her name was

She was a enthusiast,
With a overbite,
And the color of strained peaches

I'll forget
The first thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
You've got on your face."

That's when I knew it was true

We were inseparable that
Aw, we ate
We bathed
We even shared the piece
Of mint-flavored dental
The was our burrito

So we got married,
And we us a house
And had two children,
and Superfly
Oh we were so very, very, very happy, oh

But then, one night,
Zelda to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you wanna the Columbia Record Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not ready for that of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I never saw her
But just the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things started
up for me,
Because a week later
I finally achieved my lifelong
That's right, I got me a job
At the Sizzler!

I even made employee of the
After I put out that grease
my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was jealous
Of me that
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to my excess earwax
With a pencil,
When I see guy Marty
to carry a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to help you that?"
And Marty, he rolls his eyes
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And he gets all indignant on me
like, "Hey, man, I was just being sarcastic!"
Well, just great.
How was I to know that?
I'm not a reader,
For cryin' out

Besides, now got
A really cute - Torso-Boy!
So what's he about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing
guy comes up to me on the street
And he me he hasn't had a bite
In three

Well, I knew he meant,
But to be funny,
I took a big
Out of his vein
And he's and screaming
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, come on, get it?"
But he keeps rolling around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, missing
The irony of the situation
Man, some people just take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda my train of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know it's of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the whole point I'm to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And find yourself in an quandry,
of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and
Of your pitiful existence,
At least you can take a small bit of
In that somewhere out there in this
Crazy ol' universe of ours,
still a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!