Oh me a break! I sleep a wink last night, it was making me mental. I mean I can't that I, Ed Grimely, was asked to perform for the amazing Suncoast middle school PTA pancake supper. I suppose you could do better than that, no way. It's almost as insane as the I got to meet Pat Sejak, a pretty decent guy I must say. Oh and one thing- today should be Pat Sejak, no way, but then again, maybe it should, it's to say, no,
Today's about Today's Dazzle
I'm knocking dead! You made Fessler laugh so hard, gatorade came out his nose. My dad is me get my script together while my mom helps me get my hair stuck up into a point! My costume is perfect a collared shirt buttoned to the top and waisted pants with just a hint of mooseknuckle. he enjoys. You know what mooseknuckle is don't toe for boys!
I am a gentle sensitive kid. my brother is out playing baseball, I spend hours lying on the living room floor reading the encyclopedia or tenderly pressing my lips to the screen of our TV console When Captain T. Kirk is on the other side of the glass. One morning my mother flies in my bedroom and "Why are there lipmarks all the TV set?" For I can not fully explain, something inside me says "don't tell her"
One day, I'm looking through the trying to find a picture of Michaelangelo's David, when I stumble across a passage about- Dazzle
In WWI, the military used to battle ships with wild eye-catching patterns. This dazzle camouflage confused the enemy's rangefinders, so huge boats could hide in plain sight, and bomber planes just pass them by.
A goes off. If I could dazzle around me, I could hide in plain sight. Then, maybe I would Shane Fessler say, "Dude, you're funny" instead of "Dude, you're a faggot"
So I tuck away quiet me, me. And I become dazzle me! And I have a million different cards in my razzle deck
Class Camouflage! Look at me, I teach ed! Joe Camouflage! field trip sucks! Camouflage!
Yup, I have girlfriends, from second grade all the way to my year of college. Hey, wanna come after school? We can watch MTV The hours I spend holding hands with girls was equaled only by the hours I spend in my bedroom making my figures go at it.
Batman, do you me? I do Lantern! Green Lantern, you you loved me! I did not see you standing there! Have you been working out?
I am so at dazzle camouflage, I'm like a one man Ed Sullivan show! Do the Frog! Hi Ho, it's the Muppet show, with our very guest, Ms. Joan Van Ark, yay! Do Simpson! Marge, I ate all lunchbox Pee Wee Herman! Sure not feeling too good today! Kahn! Darling, I would not normally ask this, but while you're down there, would you terribly tying my shoe? Whoa dude, are you being a girl? What Ed Grimely? Ed Grimely! I must say I must say like today be about Pat Sejak! (Dazzle camouflage in background) No way, but then again, it should, it's difficult to say. No, today is about the middle school annual PTA pancake supper.
After the pancake supper, I'm riding in the car with my parents. They're so proud, and happy. We get home, I peel off my sweaty makeshift costume, a shower, and go into my room and lock the door. I'm so tired. Tired from constantly scanning to see if anyone will ever be able to put together the truth: that Fessler is right. Keeping a secret is a time job and I am exhausted. I pull out my Speedo catalogue from in between my mattress and box spring. One day, I be in the arms of a real speedo man. I my eyes. I am so tired.