I'm sick and tired of my generation blamed For the state of the planet, I'm sick of my generation getting 'The TV generation', "Well all you guys do is TV" did you expect? We watched lee harvey oswald get shot
Live on tv one morning, we were afraid to change The fucking channel for the next thirty "This show sucks", "Yeah, but somebody might get the commercial, now hang on!
That's what's wrong this country, we always shoot the wrong guys We shoot J F K, we shoot R F K and it to teddy, we go "Ahh, leave him alone, fuck it up himself, no problem, you know" Biggest target in the whole Kennedy family
Nobody takes a shot on me, he about seven thousand pounds You shoot a bullet in Los Angeles and hit him in the ass in Boston minutes later, he'd be standing on the lawn At the Kennedy compound going, "Ah a bullet in my ass, ah"
Ted kennedy, senator, but a bad date You know I'm saying, folks? One of those guys who gets home At four o'clock in the morning and goes, "What did I Oh! The girl! What's the matter with me? Jesus, are my pants? Holy shit!
Because I'll tell you folks, we got a problem with guns In country, we have people snapping Almost twice, three, four, five times a year, just snap, they can't take it anymore, they just snap
They go into Mcdonalds and fifteen people I mean what the fuck is going on at the post office? Every six months some guy fired, comes back And kills all his
If I worked at the post office as a I wouldn't lay anybody off for the next fucking years I'd just walk around going, "Hanrahan, you doing?" "Nothing" "Well, keep it up, you're doing a great job! Jesus, tell ya"
And I am sick and tired for New York city taking the In this country for the problem, you know Whenever you read a fact chart, it always Detroit leads the world In rape and murder and everything else, but New takes the blame
"New york's a cess pool, it's a pool of filth and crime moving", "Hey! I just moved here four years ago And I'm not leaving, because this is the most exciting In the to live"
Oh yeah! Yeah! are so many ways to die in New York city on! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes Construction cranes on the sidewalks Manhole covers blowing up, asbestos into the sky
We had a subway here a couple of years ago people died, the next day they found the driver was drunk And on crack, folks, this makes Disneyland Look a fucking bike ride, doesn't it?
"Your today is Edward, he's drunk and hooked on crack The man sitting next to you has a loaded luck, folks!", "Honey, get the camera!" This is be fucking great!"
Yeah, I living in New York, man and people who live in New York We wear that fact a badge right on our sleeve because we know fact impresses everybody! "I was in vietnam" "So what? I in New York!", "Really?
Yeah, 'cause New York teaches you to life the way It be lived, moment to moment, yes Because every moment in New York could be your Oh yeah,
You could be walking the street tomorrow Feeling good about yourself, drink free, free Looking forward to the And somebody nudges their poodle off of a 75th floor ledge
Doink! And he's for the ground At a hundred and seventy five thousand per hour And curchunk impeded in your head! You're dead on contact The headline in the post the next day reads, "Man by best friend"
People cut the out and they laugh about it at the office And you're forever remembered as the man! "I the poodle man and he hated fucking poodles"
New york teaches you to life moment to moment And street by and beat to beat we've all played that street ot street game in New York Haven't we? Yes we have, good block, bad block, good block, bad Gun block, crack block, asbestos block, poodle block! block
'Cause most people think, "Life sucks, and you die" I disagree, I think sucks, then you get cancer Then you go chemotherapy and you lose all your hair You feel bad yourself, then all of the sudden The cancer into remission
You look good, you feel good, going great And all of the sudden you have a stroke, you can't move your right And one day you step off the at 68th by Lincoln center and bang You get hit by a bus and then, maybe, you die
Because I think Jim Hensen said it best when he "Anybody got any aspirin? I I got a cold" And a filled the room, we all have this incredible attachment To the muppets, we? "We love the muppets! They're so cute!"
Did you hear about Jim Hensen's funeral? Here in New York city, Kermit the frog and big bird "It's not easy being green" At Jim Hensen's funeral, if I'm years old I kick the bucket and a fucking sock is singing at my funeral
I'm gonna pop out of the and go "Hey! What the Hell is about? Sammy Davis Jr. gets Frank Sinatra And I get a fucking I'm pissed off now!