I was sitting in a Holiday Inn down in Orlando And it was the morning of the day of the year I know who I was and I thought I mightve been Evan Dando But if I was him then what the hell was I here
So I myself one simple question What I do with the rest of my life? If I knew I fail, I guess I'd get the hell out of Orlando And find me a rich and wife
I dont want to do a damn thing And I to be appreciated And I to get paid well And I want to be hated
I dont to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by
So I called up the front to see if I could rent a porno They you better have a credit card I said, Honey, Im pretty hard up but I got no Visa I said, Honey you please, uh, help me? She said she was but I think she was just disgusted
And I was kinda disgusted myself it had all come down to this And I felt like a pervert but goddamn it lonely When youre sitting in your hotel room naked as a Down in Orlando in the middle of the
So I called up an old friend to see how he was But he sounded like a and it was like I barely knew him So I said I had to go, I couldnt take it any longer You know the desire to throw my body Out the fifth floor of the Holiday Inn kept getting
I tried to take a shower but I couldnt get my nerve up I just sat in that hotel and tried to cut my own hair That was the worst idea I had all day But goddamn, it gets down in F L O R I D A
Then I to myself just what the hell was a jaybird And just what the hell it look like and what the hell am I doing So I to write a song about it but this is all I got You I sang it for your girlfriend and she said she liked it a lot
Except the part killing myself And the about trying to find a rich wife She said, You should have to sea world You might have had a time
I said, Honey, thanks for the input, for the advice But I think the only way Im ever going back to Orlando Is if I live twice
'Cause I dont to do a damn thing And I want to be And I want to get paid And I dont to be hated
I dont want to do a damn lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, by everyone