Luyện nghe bài hát The Hypnotist

Performed by adam sandler and

by big brother.

[typing
Dr. hi, [i'm] dr. stewart.
Gary phelps: hi, dr. stewart. nice to you -- I'm gary phelps.
Dr. my pleasure. gary, have you ever been hypnotized before?
Gary phelps: no, I haven't. I'm quite nervous, but I just, uh, I --
Dr. all right, and you were referred to me by anyone...?
Gary phelps: to be honest with you, I saw your name in the pages, and it said you're good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a shot, just kick this whole cigarette thing...
Dr. stewart: so is your problem?
Gary phelps: yeah, I can't stop smoking and it's -- finally, like, affecting everything I do, I can't run, I can't play basketball and all that stuff like that, so i, I gotta give it up.
Dr. how long have you smoked, gary?
Gary phelps: uh, I started when I was eleven years old, and I just kick it, you know?

Dr. stewart: yeah, right. [small, barely noticeable fart] all right, gary, why don't you just have a seat here and sit down and just -- what I do is hypnosis.
Gary right.
Dr. stewart: basically I just want you to sit back and -- let yourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me.

fart]
Gary phelps: [noticing sound] uh...
Dr. that's it.
Gary o-kay....
Dr. that's it.
Gary phelps: was...o-kay...
Dr. stewart: all right? okay. gary, I want you to close your eyes, and I just you to again relax and try to concentrate on nothing. okay? that's it. now I'm gonna count backwards from five
Ro --
Gary right.
Dr. stewart: -- and I just want you to relax, and you're going to fall into a deep state of mind -- of subconsciousness -- you're very comfortable, I'll be counting back five, I just want y
Relax, and just of nothing.
[three farts in
Gary phelps: are you gonna keep that, or...?
Dr. stewart: hmm? just concentrate now. that's it. close your eyes. your eyes closed. okay. now. we're very comfortable. five [small fart], we're thinking of nothing except being comfortabl
Nothing's us. okay. when I say the word "relax," listen to me, you're sinking, you're sinking, [medium fart]
Gary phelps: oh my god...that was, uh....are you gonna keep doing
Dr. stewart: please just try to relax; that wasn't me. okay. you're very -- you're very stressed. okay, four, we're relaxing, we're relaxing, you're very comfortable, you're very, very
Ed. okay. four, three...[fart]
Gary oh my dear god, sir...uh, I can't...
Dr. stewart: that was the couch. I know it sounded like -- it's -- the vinyl -- it's a new couch -- please, just try and concentrate. okay. and we're sleepy, we're relaxed, thinking nothing
Ers us, nothing bothers us -- farts]
Gary phelps: uh, um, all right, could you open a window, maybe? I'm just having a time concentrating --
Dr. stewart: hmm? here we go -- there, there, we're relaxing, we're relaxing [fart and cough three, two, two --
Gary phelps: I was just to ask you if you could maybe stop doing that. I can't concentrate when you're doing that.
Dr. stewart: this is what I do. it's a counting-down thing. relaxing now. just relax -- let it go, don't focus on anything else, just concentrate on what we're doing here. three, two, rela
Lax, that's it, just relax [fart], relaxing now --
Gary phelps: okay -- you're gonna -- one was -- it's getting a little irritating --
Dr. stewart: hang on just a here. let me just step out a second here.
Gary phelps: be good.
Dr. stewart: all right, and we're relaxing, as I leave, relaxing, still relaxing,
[fart in the
phelps: jesus...oh my god.
Dr. stewart: relaxing.
Gary phelps: [trying hard not to
Dr. stewart: okay, I'm back, relaxing, and we're counting down, we're to two, and all we're thinking about is healthy, fresh air. freshness. breathing in. breathing in deep, letting out. [

Gary phelps: sir, I'd appreciate if you stop 'letting it out'. but okay, okay, fine, thank you.
Dr. stewart: that's it, you're all right, everything's good. all right, you feel comfortable, you're sinking into the chair, we're relaxing, one [long fart], and we're coming down to zero a

Gary oh my god, uh...yes, all right, it was nothing...
Dr. stewart: no, no, that that was you.
Gary phelps: that me!

Dr. stewart: we're not here to pick sides, we're not here to pick sides, that was you, and maybe we could deal with this in another session, but right now dealing with the smoking, and, um
's not worry about anything else going down --
phelps: ok, I've just gotta kick this habit.
Dr. stewart: down to zero, relaxing, we're going to feel very fresh [fart], we're going to feel very healthy [fart], and let's take a nice, breath --
phelps: I can't breathe, sir, uh, I'm sorry, I just -- ["squirty" fart]
Gary phelps: oh my God -- what did you eat? it smells like baby --

Dr. stewart: all right, we're relaxing -- that one probably squirted out a little into the pants, but just continue with thte floating [fart] -- yeah, that was definitely a squirt -- but h
E go, one, zero, we are under. are you
Gary yeah, I'm under, I guess.
Dr. stewart: here we go, relaxing, relaxing. you're under a deep trance, you will not smoke anymore, you will just feel healthy from now on, and you'll be in nothing but fresh air, and
Will not smell anything in this room, it wasn't me, it wasn't me [fart] -- that was not me --
Gary phelps: [hysterically laughing under his breath] you're gonna to stop doing that, sir. it's just very hard for me to listen to you when you're --
Dr. stewart: you're floating now, you're high above, you're looking down, nothing but fresh pastures and fields, and here we go [long
Gary oh man...
Dr. stewart: -- was you,
Gary phelps: was not me, sir! I'm watching you!
Dr. stewart: that was you, and when you wake up, you will not remember any of this, except that it was you, or my receptionist, don't worry, she gets it all the time. all -- you smell noth
I'm perfectly clean. I have no bad gas; it was all from or from -- from -- you yourself. and let's not forget the smoking thing that's why you're here. no smoking. repeat after me: I am
Lly pig.
Gary what?
Dr. stewart: all right, we're moving along, and we;'re relaxed. [fart] all right, and now we're going to count up, up one to five,
Gary phelps: ok, you know, I think this is fine, I want to smoke...
Dr. stewart: gary, settle down, relax, and when I get to five, you will snap out of this, and you won't remember this, especially the smell, the smell was from you. all and here we go. ze
E're coming out of it, you're waking up slowly, your eyes are opening, one, you're feeling good, and when you wake up, you'll feel wide awake and perfect you'll feel whole and all-righty,
Pped one out there and I apologize. I ripped a good one there. that was a nice out..
Gary phelps: was not nice.
Dr. stewart: here we go, and, we're coming [fart]
Gary phelps: was that?
Dr. that was three.
Gary phelps: it didn't like three.
Dr. three, I'm counting, and four, it's no smell in here, and you don't smoke, you don't want a cigarette, no, and here we go [fart] five, and -- [snap] do you want a cigarette?
Gary no I don't.
Dr. then my job is done.
Gary phelps: into laughter]
Dr. stewart: [fart] please leave the door open as you leave.
phelps: ok, thank you, doctor.

[typing resumes and another fart is