Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble here in River City. Why I'm a billiard player, Certainly proud I say I'm always mighty to say it. I consider that the I spend a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate sense And a cool head and a eye. Did ya ever take and try to An iron-clad leave to From a billiard shot? But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to In a baulk game, I say any boob kin take And shove a in a pocket. And call that sloth. The first big on the road To the of deg-ra-Day-- I say, first, wine from a teaspoon, Then beer a bottle. An' the thing ya know, Your son is for money In a suit. And list'nin to big out-a-town Jasper Hearin' him tell horse-race gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a race where they set down on the horse! Like to see some stuck-up on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me tell you I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets mark the diff'rence a gentlemen and a bum, With a "B," And rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! And all week long your River Youth'll be away, I say your men'll be frittern! Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, too! Get the in the pocket, Never mind gittin' Dandelions Or the door patched or the beefsteak pounded. Never mind pumpin' any 'Til your parents are caught the Cistern empty On a night and that's trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm of the kids in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail young ones, in the pool window after school, ya got trouble, folks! Right in River City. Trouble a capital "T" And that rhymes with "P" and stands for pool! Now, I all you folks are the right kinda parents. I'm be perfectly frank. Would ya like to what kinda conversation goes On while they're around that Hall? They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, Tryin' out Mades like Cigarette Fiends! And braggin' all How they're gonna up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen. One fine night, they leave the hall, for the dance at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, music grab your son and your daughter With the arms of a jungle instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the brain is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right in River City! With a "T" That with "P" And stands for Pool, That for pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City, here! Gotta out a way To the young ones moral after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed that warning it's too late! Watch for the tell-tale of corruption! The your son leaves the house, he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee? Is a nicotine stain on his index finger? A dime hidden in the corn crib? Is he starting to memorize from Capt. Billy's Whiz Are certain words into his conversation? Words like, 'swell?" And 'so's old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, here in River city! With a "T" And rhymes with "P" And stands for Pool. surely got trouble! Right in River City! the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. in terrible, terrible trouble. That with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! a "T"! Gotta rhyme it with "P"! And stands for Pool!!!