Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble right here in City. Why I'm a billiard player, Certainly mighty I say I'm mighty proud to say it. I that the hours I spend a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate sense And a head and a keen eye. Did ya ever and try to give An iron-clad to yourself a three-rail billiard shot? But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and to score In a line game, I say that any kin take And shove a in a pocket. And call that sloth. The big step on the road To the of deg-ra-Day-- I say, first, medicinal wine a teaspoon, Then from a bottle. An' the next ya know, son is playin' for money In a suit. And list'nin to some big Jasper Hearin' him tell about gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a race where they set down on the horse! Like to see some jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? your blood boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me tell you I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets mark the diff'rence a gentlemen and a bum, With a "B," And that rhymes with "P" and stands for pool! And all week long River City be frittern away, I say your men'll be frittern! Frittern their noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the in the pocket, Never mind gittin' Dandelions Or the screen patched or the beefsteak pounded. mind pumpin' any water 'Til your parents are caught with the Cistern On a Saturday night and trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm thinkin' of the in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the Hall after school, ya got trouble, folks! Right here in City. with a capital "T" And that rhymes "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you folks are the right parents. I'm gonna be frank. ya like to know what kinda conversation goes On they're loafin' around that Hall? They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, Tryin' out Tailor Mades like Fiends! And all about How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale with Sen-Sen. One fine night, leave the pool hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, shameless That'll grab son and your daughter With the of a jungle animal instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right here in City! a capital "T" That rhymes "P" And that for Pool, That for pool. We've got trouble! here in River City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones moral school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed that warning before too late! Watch for the tell-tale of corruption! The your son leaves the house, Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers the knee? Is a nicotine stain on his index finger? A dime novel hidden in the corn Is he starting to memorize jokes Capt. Billy's Bang? Are certain words into his conversation? like, like 'swell?" And your old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, Right in River city! With a "T" And that rhymes "P" And that for Pool. We've got trouble! here in River City! Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Rule! Oh, got trouble. We're in terrible, trouble. That game with the numbered balls is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta it with "P"! And that for Pool!!!